Delivering drugs and "friending" monks

The first day I arrived in Nyaung Oo, the  driver took me to school to meet the monks and teachers. The people seemed appreciative but more curious as to what this gangly, 10-foot white girl could do for them. I met the English teacher, who has been my guide for everything at the school. She is a kind, gentle woman of 62 years. She treats me so well. Too well. 

Sometimes, I just want her to smack me so she realizes I am not made of eggshell.

I was immediately introduced me to the monks who, when the electricity came on, immediately asked to be my Facebook friend. (I am really curious as to how a monk - a man who gives up all worldly possessions - could regularly attend to his social network via his smartphone....but, it's the Myanmar way!)

After dropping off my 100 lbs of anti-diarrheal medication and princess books I went back to the hotel to sleep off 24 hours of jetlag.

When I woke at 2 AM I had a sudden unwavering conviction that the bugs crawling in my bed were the accomplices of the lice running along my scalp.  I gathered all of my Camp Mont Shenandoah for Girls knowledge of the louse and proceeded to pour every moisturizing cosmetic onto my head to suffocate the bugs. I then ripped open a zip-lock bag and duct taped it onto my head, to further asphyxiate the pests. 

After that crisis, I convinced myself that an ax murderer was going to bolt through my door at any second.To deter the villain, I strung duct tape from the door to the other side of the wall of my guest room (which is half the size of Harry Potter's closet) and pile cans of soup along the sticky surface. When that was complete I moved all the furniture and donations bags I had brought against the door. Pleased with my work, I went to bed, holding a blinding flashlight and leaving scissors on the bedside table. Macaulay Culkin would have been proud.